Have you ever been in a conversation where the person you are talking with is trying to 'fix' you? Instead of listening and giving you a chance to think things through, the person you're talking with jumps in with advice, and, even if well-meaning, they come out with patronising statements like "you should do this or that".

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If so, I'd highly recommend that you explore the art of Motivational Interviewing.

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What is Motivational Interviewing?

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Motivational interviewing (MI) evolved from Carl Rogers' person-centred approach to counselling as a method to help people commit to the difficult process of change. It was introduced by psychologist William R. Miller in 1983 and further developed by Miller and psychologist Stephen Rollnick.

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The approach contrasts with coercive or externally-driven methods of motivating change by not imposing it, but instead nurturing change in alignment with the individual's values and concerns.

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MI was originally validated as an evidence-based practice for treating individuals with substance use disorders, and has since been applied effectively to various other issues. Its applicability extends far beyond these settings; MI can effectively facilitate change in diverse environments, including the business context.

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Motivational Interviewing helps a person explore their ambivalence, think it through for themselves, and decide what's best for them.

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Reactance

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Often the worst way to try and inspire change is to tell someone what to do. A predictable outcome is that all this does is to increase their resistance. The technical term for this is "reactance" - an emotional reaction to pressure or persuasion that results in the strengthening of a contrary belief.

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If you want to reduce resistance, emphasise personal choice and autonomy, learn to employ empathic listening, and don't jump in with unasked for advice.

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How to do MI - Using the OARS acronym

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O - Open Questions: In MI, you should be asking at least twice as many open-ended questions as closed questions. Allow sufficient time and have a mindset of exploration with the other person.

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A - Affirmations: A great way to show that you're listening and that you've noticed what is right with the person. This reinforces what they already believe or desire. Affirmations must be genuine and short.

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R - Reflective Listening: A core skill in motivational interviewing, otherwise described as empathic listening. It's a very active process and helps you check you've understood correctly. An MI competence for coaches is to offer twice as many reflections as questions.

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S - Summaries: Offering a summary of what the other person has said helps them to hear what's come out of their own mouth. It helps them to feel listened to, heard and understood.

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In Conclusion

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Motivational Interviewing is a collaborative, person-centred conversational style that aims to help a person explore and resolve ambivalence about change. It doesn't matter how many reasons you have for the other person to change, what matters is how many reasons they have, and their confidence about changing.

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If you're interested to explore further, I'd recommend the following book by William R Miller and Stephen Rollnick: Motivational Interviewing: Helping People Change and Grow.

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Reach out to steve@encouragerhr.co.uk to discuss HR Consulting services or Executive Coaching.